Why does victim blaming exist? It's as rampant as ever, but when you stop and think about it, it's hopelessly illogical. And yet it swirls around the murky comment sections of almost every online debate regarding sexual harassment or rape.
For those unfamiliar with the term, "victim blaming" is exactly what it sounds like - blaming the victim in any instance of a crime or violation. "If you didn't want to get mugged, you shouldn't have walked down that alley" is a good example. Currently, the term is almost synonymous with instances of rape and sexual assault. "She was asking for it wearing that skirt" or "if she didn't want to have sex she shouldn't have been so flirty" are tame versions of some of the comments you might hear when such cases crop up, with the worst going so far as something like "she secretly wanted it because everyone knows she's a slut."
All of these are horrible, but why do they exist? What constructive purpose does victim blaming serve? Are there really so many awful people willing to condemn someone who has just undergone something traumatic? Personally I don't think so, so I would like to propose a possible explanation that is far less nefarious.
I believe it's simple. I think it all boils down to fear.
I think people are scared. I think people are afraid to admit that something like rape happens on a horrifyingly regular basis, because admitting it would be admitting that the world by extension can be a rather horrible and scary place. That's something a lot of people frankly aren't ready to accept just yet (if ever) because it would be admitting that they themselves might not be safe.
There's a wonderful speech at the end of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (correct me if I'm wrong on this, I sometimes get the movies confused) where Dumbledore is talking to Harry in his dorm room just after a climactic battle with Voldemort. Dumbledore says to Harry, "There will soon come a time where people will have to decide between what is right . . . and what is easy." In the case of victim blaming in rape cases, what is right is admitting that sometimes terrible things happen to good people and that the world isn't always safe, especially if you're a girl; what is easy is to deny that the world can be terrible and scary by denying such things happen, and the easiest way to deny an accusation is to discredit the accuser.
When I was in elementary school, we had a presentation about the dangers of drunk driving. We watched a video that had interviews with a woman who had been hit by a drunk driver. The resulting accident trapped her in her car, which caught fire. At the risk of sounding insensitive, the physical damage as a result of her burns was horrifying. It left me deeply disturbed, and my mind's initial reaction was to say that such things weren't possible. I tried to convince myself it was all a show, that it was all makeup and special effects for the sake of making a very effective PSA, but that was just my mind playing mental gymnastics for one purpose: I didn't want to admit that something so horrible could happen to someone.
It goes beyond simply admitting that bad things happen, unfortunately, especially when further implications arise. The startlingly high statistics of rape and harassment towards women are symptoms of a predominantly patriarchal society with misogynistic tendencies, but a lot of people are very comfortable with current society, and would therefore fear anything that threatens established norms (one only needs to look at the GamerGate incident to see this in microcosm). Admitting that things are bad also means admitting that things should change, which I would say the majority of people are very adverse to, especially if it requires any degree of work on their part. The easy solution therefore becomes to deny such problems exist, and by extension, deny any evidence of a problem.
As Dumbledore indicates to young Harry, it's easier for people to deny that evil exists (exemplified by the fact that Voldemort for the first half of the series is referred to as "He Who Must Not Be Named") because admitting it also means recognition that it must be subsequently fought, which is a frightening prospect. Likewise, it is especially difficult to admit that celebrities or people in positions of power are guilty of crimes (be it sexual assault or otherwise) because it means acknowledging that a figure that some might have idolized was not the beacon of light once thought. It was easier to deny Bill Cosby was a rapist (until the evidence became too overwhelming) because otherwise we would be destroying a fixture of American pop culture that many people grew up with, in the same way it's difficult to admit that John Lennon was an abusive man because it would taint the legacy of his music.
We build mental templates for ourselves to make us feel safe, and these templates have very rigid specifications that must be met before many of us are willing to recognize something for what it is. We have an idea of what an abusive relationship is so that if the one we're in becomes abusive or unhealthy, we can compare it to our template and say "it might not be great, but at least it's not that." We do the same for words. The word "rape" conjures up so many negative things - feelings of betrayal, violence, devastation, trauma - that unless something fits with the exact criteria we design in our heads, we just deny it. Most people think of rape as something that happens in a dark alley at knife-point, not something that happens in a dorm room after a girl has drank too much to properly say "no." People don't want to admit that something that we associate such horrible things with could happen easily and often. Even worse, no one wants to think that they could be a criminal, and so the boy in the dorm room makes excuses, saying "she wanted it" or "why would she drink so much if she didn't know what could happen?" because the fear of admitting they are a rapist is too terrifying.
And so this fear manifests as denial. We find excuses so we don't have to admit that the university we went to has a sexual harassment problem; we make excuses so we don't have to admit a high school football star is actually a criminal; we make excuses so we don't have to admit a celebrity who was a big part of our childhood was secretly a monster.
It's easier to discredit the victim, because at the end of the day, everyone is more afraid for themselves.
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